What makes a person successful? Some experts believe that much of our success is predicated on our level of “emotional intelligence.” So what is “emotional intelligence? In short, it’s your “ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others.”
According to Dr. Daniel Goleman, Ph.D and author of Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ:
“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” – Daniel Goleman, Ph.D
So according to Dr. Goleman, “EI” and not IQ alone, is the major factor that propels us to success.
According to Psychology Today, “EI” is said to include three skills:
- Emotional awareness, including the ability to identify your own emotions and those of others
- The ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problems solving
- The ability to manage emotions, including the ability to regulate your own emotions, and the ability to cheer up or calm down another person
So what are some of the traits of emotionally intelligent people: Here are a few key characteristics:
Positivity
Emotionally intelligent people are more apt to embrace a positive attitude and are able to put negative influences (world news, negative people) into proper perspective — they accept that some things are beyond their control and are capable of neutralizing the toxic effects of negative people. Emotionally intelligent people prefer to spend their energy contributing to the solution and tend to associate with people who feel the same.
Being open-minded.
A person with high EI has a well-developed level of self-awareness and they’re open to new ideas and won’t dismiss ideas just because they are different from their own. You will rarely find them gossiping or getting involved in petty conversations — they tend to be trusted and people come to rely on their views and opinions.
They’re direct
People with high emotional intelligence are direct and assertive, but rarely domineering; a person with well cultivated EI tends to be diplomatic and puts a high value on empathy and kindness. They let you know their opinions, but do so tactfully.
Natural curiosity
Emotionally intelligent people find interest in most people and it doesn’t matter if the other person is an extrovert or introvert — derived from a natural empathy, high EI means having a natural curiosity/interest to learn more about other people.
Forgiveness
Emotionally intelligent people are more apt to forgive a person because they recognize that forgiving is less stressful that carrying a grudge (they may not fully forget though, as they have no intention of being a victim again). They do however move on from the conflict.
If you’ve ever wondered why some people seem to thrive and succeed in their personal and professional lives, it could be because they possess a high level of emotional intelligence. The good news is, we’re all capable of nurturing and mastering high emotional intelligence and in addition to the above 5 characteristics, should bear these primary skills in mind:
- Emotional awareness, including the ability to identify your own emotions and those of others
- The ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problems solving
- The ability to manage emotions, including the ability to regulate your own emotions, and the ability to cheer up or calm down another person
You can also learn more about Emotional Intelligence by reading this great article from Zoey Miller on “The Babble Out.”